self-destruction might be the answer

so reads the cover to fight club, the movie of a man who meets someone who he thinks is everything he wants to be only to find out that someone is his worst nightmare and that someone is himself. 

you see, on this globe there will always be a part of us which is that someone we once thought we wanted to be only to find out that he is everything we have grown to hate. that demon within started feeding with the first forbidden fruit and hasn’t stopped feasting since. he has grown oh so fat that one is scarcely able to step around him upon encountering oneself, especially in a culture worshipping self-indulgence and painless existence. the fattest demons are those who use the lie that alcohol will make them disappear. they are the ones that command constant drink or else their dictatorship is too painfully real. 

in the Christian’s life, such rulers have been cast out by the throne of grace. all-too-frequently, however, the empty hole where they used to be still resembles their form to the extent that they are able to press close to the believer and whisper their commands through the shadow where they used to reign. 

this is the old man. this is Satan’s treachery. this is true destruction. the only way to purge such evil is to self-destruct the bloated shadow of the demon once there. to, step by step and little by little, allow the burning light of Christ to incinerate all mastering passions until their ashes are blown out by the wind of new direction. 

otherwise one is left fighting between two masters. for hours on end. one moment the light will speak, declaring a new beginning, a fresh start, a burial of past regrets and planting of new seeds. the next moment the whispering demon will say he’s going to end it all. you will not see me again. this is my last day on earth. if i must go, so will he. i will cut his wrists and you see that evil prevails. 

there is pain in every chance to start again. it will seem as though a friend is betraying you. as though Christ himself had turned on the you you thought you wanted to be. in the moment, you do not realize this is the you of your nightmares. it was one of your only friends, your close companion who had called these strangers to lead away in handcuffs. you may curse him who brought you there, denying you ever knew the one you had once cared about so dearly. at the moment, with the darkness of the demon pressing close upon you, with his drunken stupor hanging over you like a cloud, you do not see that it was love that forced you to the place of healing. 

every day we make decisions. these decisions are the choice between life and death, blessings and curses. to take the narrow way and the yoke, the cross of suffering and the pain of death, or to choose the broad road, the life of ease and painless existence. with the acceptance of living death – death to self – there comes life everlasting. that is true courage: to face every day despite the pain. the way the darkness told you was courageous, the path you thought lead to life, only ends in torment. it seemed so easy, yet when you hit it you will never return. redemption seems so hard, but its yoke is light because the weight has already been carried. 

you may die, my friend. you might make that choice. you are the only one who make this choice, even though the demons whisper that they control you. you may live, though, for God has provided a way of life no matter what temptation you face. 

after you have done everything, if you stand, you will receive a crown of glory that outshines the sun. my Lord’s victory has been sealed. death’s darkness has been driven out by the light of life. your talons may snatch one or two sheep on the way down, Satan, but your fate is sealed, and one day soon you will meet the lamb you killed who rose a Lion, who will tear you limb from limb. 

I am redeemed. I will face pain, and I will have to fight through all of life, but I am redeemed. there is no power that can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus my Lord, and one day I will stand with him in victory. on that day, death will be forgotten as the dance of life everlasting begins, and there will be no sorrow there. on that day, the murdered Son of God will crush the serpent under his feet for the all time and death will be killed by the power of the indestructible Life, a life which I will share for eternity – a life I began living the day I met my Lord and a life that I will live in full upon beholding Him face to Face.