Selling your Soul on Ebay 101

As some of you know, it wasn't long ago that that my car was broken into and the culprit ran off with my CD/MP3 CD player. At the time I was quite happy about how I handled it. My roommate's car had been broken into that night as well so I had a foreboding feeling that mine had too. So, when I found that it had, indeed, been broken into and my CD player was gone, I wasn't completely unprepared. In fact, I was quite relaxed about the whole thing. 

At first I think it was out of a genuine unattachment and the feeling that the situation was out of my control. It wasn't long, though, until I transformed this loss into an opportunity to upgrade to an all-out MP3 player. Now I realize that, instead of turning to God in this situation that was out of my control, I turned it into an opportunity to assert my dominance over a world - and ultimately a God - that (Who) can't be controlled.  

My attitude reminds me of the United States in their insistence on rebuilding the World Trade Center towers - this time with the "Freedom tower," measuring 1,776 feet. When the original Twin Towers were built they measured approximately 1360 feet each. At that time they were the tallest buildings on earth. Wikipedia reports that at a press conference revealing these landmarks, the architect Minoru Yamasaki was asked: "Why two 110-story buildings? Why not one 220-story building?" His response was: "I didn't want to lose the human scale." Apparently this time they're looking beyond the 'human scale.'  

In my own desire to control beyond a human scale, I ended up ordering an iPod Mini on eBay. Thankfully it wasn't 1.5-2 billion dollars, but to this poor widow it was certainly comparable. As soon as the screen read "you are the highest bidder," it hit me that here I was, the rich young ruler. 

We all know that one can not serve two masters, God and mammon. Yet I imagine that you, like I, have found a way to excuse yourself from the demands of Christ on your finances, on my life. You are not the subject of this investigation, however, for I am the first to blame and at this moment feel like the worst of sinners. The terrible thing is, I feel that I'm leaving disheartened with the young man, bound and trapped by my great wealth. You see, far too often I'm a creature dominated by my passions. I see the new zip-up hoodie at the Gap and I begin to lust after it. We may describe it as 'wanting,' but is there really much of a difference when it comes to an eternal perspective on the treasures of earth? The Best Buy catalogue shows up in our house and it's not much different than a dirty magazine. "Man, look at the size of that screen!" It sounds crude and vulgar, but I certainly don't think it's much of a stretch. 

You see, passions master us. It doesn't matter what the passion is; if it's not firmly rooted in God then it masters us. The etymology of "passion" comes from the same root as "passive" in Latin, to be affected by, to undergo, to be acted upon. When we talk about something we're passionate about we might say "it moved me." What is it that is acting upon us, that is mastering us, when we gaze longingly in shop windows or at the latest ad? It certainly isn't our Heavenly Father. So I find myself in the same position as the rich young man. Selling all that I have and giving the money to the poor to gain treasure in heaven isn't something I'm prepared to do right now. Or right now. Or right now. 

I'm counting on God's imimpossibility to bring me to eternal life, as I sit here feeling as out of place in my adherence to Christ as a camel in the eye of a needle. I know we don't have long here. We're just passing through. I pray, though, that Christ's kenosis (emptying himself) will begin to wear off on me so that I might arrive in heaven and not feel the flames nipping my heels. I pray, Lord, that in you and your power I will act as you have called me to. Right now. Right now. Right now...