--------------------
but by then it was too late we already had the Jesus seminar and the historical Jesus movement which were essentially glorified predecesors to the Da Vinci Code historical fictions without the history as if such a history would satisfy our souls were it even possible
--------------------we wanted a personal Jesus no, I wanted a personal Jesus not you, not we, because there is no 'we' we, i mean i, cannot prove a 'we' and yet i write to you who isn't because i don't know you scientifically, that is
--------------------and so i want a personal relationship with Christ my Jesus, my way my documents, my pictures, my videos or at mcdonalds my fries, my drink, my shake my forbidden fruit my Jesus, my homeboy
--------------------maybe if He's really mine maybe if he's really mine i don't need him to be Other after all, i can't prove the Other scientifically
--------------------so he is a god, is he? but he's my god because i have a personal relationship with him just me and i can prove him scientifically i mean historically it doesn't really matter my intellect, my way he was a man like me i showed you that or at least i showed me that historically scientifically
--------------------our stars, our gods they're not so shiny they're not so holy they fall, like you and me they die, like you and me he died, like you and me he fell, like you and me
or like me i think because i don't know you or he just me scientifically, that is
--------------------we're really all the same if there were a we because all of you all of he is really me we all fall i fell
--------------------maybe we're all gods maybe i'm a god, i mean maybe i'm the God 50 cent is my god because he makes me feel like God at least he admits he's fallen the rest i have to drag down oh, they'll fall eventually, obviously they'll die but not fast enough for me
--------------------the deader they are, the more alive i feel the faster they fall, the more god-like i feel
--------------------i am what i am sounds familiar isn't that from the bible somewhere? it must've been talking about me after all, it's only a book i could write a book i practically wrote it myself that's what my history says
--------------------so i can't get away from you whoever you is my fear is that you are an indication of a He but maybe if i pretend that you are not an indication but He, but he then i can pretend that i, too am He, am he
--------------------then we can rejoice in our humanity
and sing hosannas to ourselves until we fall, until we die until i fall, until i die
--------------------my reoccuring nightmare, though my only dream is that when i fall, when i die, there will be a He a He that died for my fall but a He that rose again historically scientifically for me but...
4 comments:
wow.... no words can describe how i feel after this blog. i want my kids to read it. i love what you did with the Enquirer magazines but it nearly made me cry. perhaps you could publish these things keitih? my favourite line in your poem/prose:
then we can rejoice in our humanity
and sing hosannas to ourselves
until we fall, until we die
until i fall, until i die
so achingly true. thank you for writing this! e.
When you write posts like this I always hesitate to comment because I know they contain much more than I am able to pull out of them. But this was so beautiful it required a response - some recognition for the message you're communicating. I've heard you talk about "my Jesus" before - I was thinking about it on my walk home from school yesterday, actually. We can't own him, we can't be territorial about him. We can't put Him in a box - poke at Him - examine Him and explain Him. If we dissected Him we'd never find a part that was scientifically God. And yet we try. We're a foolish little people.
Hi =)
I really don't feel intelligent enough (usually) to post a comment on your blogs, but this one is way to important and amazing, thanks for writing it and making me think.
Take Care,
A.
wow again... just wow. and how thankful i am that at least we can have the security of BELONGING to the only, amazingly incomprehensible & 'holy'/Other God - secure in him, even though His greatness constantly swells beyond our imagination's capability! secure in the wonder-full One, found in the Unseen's loving gaze, and adopted into His eternal family because of His unbelievable goodness...
too many emotions (mostly gratitude the He has it all figured out, and my tiny life as well!) to jot down except to say life with such a God is never dull! ;)
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