i suddenly got the impression that this car never stopped. its chugging engine, audible above the other cars on the street, led me to believe that this car was not planning on taking a break until it got a long, long way - until it arrived at its destination, in fact. sure, it probably couldn't do much above 50, and were it to drop below 45 it would probably give up in a huff, but at its temperamental 'happy speed' it could keep on going until everything in it quit or it reached its goal.
quite frankly, i saw myself as this car. often i feel that my engine is getting weary. strange rattling noises come from the frame, and the motor sounds a bit strained and coughs every once in a while. i've been travelling for 23 years now, and sometimes feel that i've never pulled off the road, except to get gas once in a while. i think maybe i should stop at the side of the road and check my oil level. i'd like to test a few things under the hood and give the engine a good listen.
honestly, though, i'm scared to stop. what if it refuses to run when i try to start 'er back up? the best thing would really be to go to the Mechanic. i know He knows cars. He must really enjoy them to work with them all day. the problem is, i know he fixes so many cars, but would He really be able to fix mine? would He really want to fix mine? in theory, He knows what He's doing. in practice, though, sometimes I don't know if He's going to come through. plus, it means spending a good deal of time away from this road - and everything seems so frantically urgent on the highway. it's going to cost quite a bit, too. i'm going to have to give up some things that i have grown to enjoy in order to pay for the tune-up.
may i have the strength to let go of my worries and concerns and turn to Him. may i be willing to pay whatever it costs. may i let go of my pride and selfish ambition and let Him decide what's best. may i be an example to all others on the road, that they, too, might have the strength to hand their keys over to Him.
1 comment:
hey keith.
good post. but i don't think that you're an old blue honda accord so much as a tricked out civic that's lowered, has that cool blue pulsating lighting emanating from its dark underside and is showing off those shiny shiny rims. because, as i think we both agree, the honda civic is pretty much the pinnacle of modern automobile development.
and the highway is quite busy and distracting sometimes, i agree. but i sort of think that most often it is through the near-misses and the traffic congestion of the highway that the mechanic changes us (notice how i mangle the analogy horribly in my attempt to say what i mean). it is hard to trust him with every thing, though, most definitely. i sometimes wonder whether i am really doing that or just saying so, and i suspect that often times i am a lot closer to 'just saying so'. i am very glad that he doesn't stop trying because i am stupid sometimes.
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