random anxieties of existence

I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed– in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” (1 Cor 15:50-54) Deep within the blackness of my peaceful slumber I see a pinprick of light ascending from below. It is approaching at a great speed; at such a rate, in fact, that within seconds it envelops my entire view. It is so bright that I can see into it no further than the darkness of before, but this light is filled with an inexpressible e...

When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.” Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days (John 11:4-6) . at the moment of collision, a silence fills my senses. he is gone. i am no longer falling or moving at all. it has been four days since i have entered this tomb, and the stench lies pungent on my nostrils. he had known my sickness, he had heard of my misfortune, and yet he had lingered longer in the place where he was. i thought we were friends; best of friends. yet now i lay here, separated from flesh and substance in a nothingness like a deep, unwakable sleep. if he had been there, i would not have died. oh, this foolish heart of mine. to always alight on such arms as to let me fall. why is this always so? will i ever find a love that doesn't let me go? each trust invested finds fickle ...

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want... Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" (Rom 7:18, 19, 24) I hate this sin at work within me. It started as a faint cough, then it began to wrack my whole body. Its defilement crept into this sarx, my flesh, and once it gained a foothold it never stopped its exponential onslaught. No longer can I remember the days of light, of walking quietly in the garden. All has faded to black in my depraved mind. Only a shadow of a long-lost love remains. I can almost remember goodness, beauty, and truth. But alas, as a daydream plunges into a tragic nightmare it vanishes, as reality clutches me in her icy grip. I think back to that fated day when this hated lust began. He had offered so much, it seemed. To become like God. To pos...

For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away . When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor 13:9-13, NASB) We are in the dimension of imperfection . It is not a time of nothingness; it is a time of imperfection, of the partial. There is something here, and that something is beautiful. We have been blessed abundantly by God with every good and perfect gift through His Son. However, we are still incomplete. The Kingdom is within us, but it is also not yet completed, for it is still at hand. We are to pray "Thy Kingdom come," and yet it is here as a seal, as a promise, and...

I cut my hair today. I’m not sure how masculine it is to cut one’s own hair, but I do, and I like it. It’s saved me a lot of money over the past few years. In fact, when I was in the dorm at Briercrest it became quite a lucrative little business for me. In the end I was charging top dollar for Keith Kuts (no, I did not actually have a name for it). This probably had a lot to do with the fact that most people were too lazy to go into Moose Jaw, and I knew it. Sam Walton has nothing on yours truly. Cutting hair is fun because it reminds me of those little pots that looked like faces that you could grow grass in. Eventually it got to the point that you could give them crazy green hair-do's, something I'm sure most of us secretly desired at one time or another. It’s rewarding to see the dry, dead cells fall to the ground and the head regain a sense of symmetry and decency. I may not be able to order society, or bring justice to the people, but I can straighten a mop ...